Two more visits under our belts!

We have had 2 more visits since my last post! Mid week we went to see the kids for a few hours in the evening. I really should have posted, because the visits are starting to blur together and I am definitely losing the details in my mind which I absolutely hate. We played games with the kids and played “cooking the yellow turkey in the kitchen” and played dress up.

Today we visited with them all day! We attended church with them this morning…. both kids were incredibly well behaved! I sat next to Daffy so it was definitely easier to monitor her interest level which honestly seemed quite high. I couldn’t wait to get to the “Our Father” so we could hold hands.  🙂 During the closing song, she leaned over and whispered “Will Donald and I share a room at your house?”….. one of several comments made today that made me realize they are looking towards the future. Anyway, we explained she would room with Tinkerbell and Donald will room with Pluto.

We went back to their home and Donald, Daffy & Pluto headed out for a run. Mickey, Tinkerbell & myself stayed behind for some pre-placement training. This was one of my favorite parts of the day because 2 of the the Fairy Godmothers shared some insight into the kids about their thoughts on us. Daffy told one of the Fairy Godmothers that she has always had dreams where God has let her know if a family is THE Forever Family for her & Donald. In the past he has said no, but last week she dreamt he told her we ARE her Forever Family. It seems like this has given her great peace. In speaking with the other Fairy Godmother,  Daffy expressed that she is still nervous that we wont like her because the other families didnt (not true, of course, but her perception), but she did also say that she enjoys us coming and enjoys the kids. She also said she believes that when Mickey comes home from work or they come home from school that he will hug them. This is HUGE! Watching the way the kids interact with Mickey has been magical!!! He has quite a dry sense of humor and in general, I would not consider him a cuddly or affectionate person. The thing is, they have no preconceived notions of him and they both are VERY fond of him…. climbing all over him, hugging him, etc. I truly could not be happier that they are able to connect to him and separate him from the abuse that occurred in their past. Donald’s thought process was a lot more on the details and logistics…. wondering how he will know what the rules at our house are…. wondering if his bedroom will be close to the bathroom, etc. I think most of those concerns will be addressed as we work further in the transition.

Once the kids returned, we ate lunch, played in the sandbox and then headed out for a bike ride together. Considering I hadnt ridden a bike in probably 6 years, I thought I did well. They were very confident. We rode to a nearby playground and stayed for an hour or so.

Back at their home, we played in the yard for quite a while. We made pyramids of people, took lots of pictures, the boys played basketball and us girls played soccer. It gave us a great chance to connect. I was in heaven every time Daffy and Donald hugged me. At one point, Tinkerbell asked why they needed so many hugs and the best answer I could give was that they are 70,000 hugs behind schedule for their ages. They are making up for lost time.

Mickey cooked dinner and we ate together. Its funny because we have never placed a great deal of importance on family meals. I think of our relationships ats strong and with such busy lives, it never seemed to be a high priority. That said, the meals we have shared have given us some time to really get to know eachother in an informal setting and I can definitely see the value in continuing to make meals important once they are finally home with us.

Having a long ride home is always beneficial for us because it gives us a great chance to process the visits and discuss anything that came up, our insights, things we noticed that others might not have, etc. Pluto mentioned that during dinner Daffy was staring at a picture we brought that had been taken the first day we met. She makes my heart smile!

This week we have several meeting pertaining to the transition plan and are eager to get more visits scheduled including the kids finally coming to our house and even sleepovers! It’s so strange for me to think we only met them for the first time 11 days ago…. but then I think back to the birth of my biological children and I certainly couldn’t have loved them anymore than I did at 11 days old either.

I am so blessed. I can’t stop smiling! I wish I could hold this feeling with me every day of my life!

-Minnie xo

[All names have (obviously) been changed to protect the privacy of our family.]

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Donald & Daffy Meet the Crew

Yesterday was a very exciting day for our family! Tinkerbell, Goofy and Pluto finally got to meet Donald & Daffy! When we pulled up, Donald came running alongside the truck and he was waving like a maniac! When I got out of truck, I told him I missed him and asked how his week was and he replied “I missed you! I was thinking of you so much! I couldn’t even pay attention, I was thinking of you so much!” Awwwww, doesn’t that melt your heart? I introduced him to the bio kids and he was quick to hug everyone as I went along. On the other hand, Daffy was quite aloof. She was more interested in showing us her Ripstick skills than meeting anyone new. When she did get introduced, she only shook hands.

The 7 of us played outside for about an hour before dinner. For the most part, that went well and the kids were able to burn off a lot of energy playing freeze tag and shooting hoops. The only thing of notable interest was Donald kicking a soccer ball at my back. Hard. I am sure that is the first of many times he will test me to see how much I will take. He doesn’t know it yet and couldn’t possibly be asked to believe it, anyway, but I am in this for the long haul. I certainly don’t look forward to the trying days, but I accept that they come with the territory and will do all I can to learn how to best deal with them.

I have found myself thinking more about my parenting style, especially as I interact with Donald & Daffy. Things that would be commonplace and taken as a joke within our bio family are things we need to be careful of as we work to blend the families.

Goofy made the mistake of bringing his ipod and when Donald got ahold of it, we lost him completely. Note to Goofy: do not bring electronics to future visits. Lesson learned.

We ate Shepard’s pie for dinner (Tinkerbell’s favorite…. and Donald didn’t even take a bite!) and then took a group shot of our feet (usually a beach tradition but modified for the occasion). We made plans to return on Wednesday and good byes were much quicker this time.

I had been very much looking forward to the kids meeting each other and realize it’s great importance, but I also find myself looking forward to visits that Mickey & I attend alone. I feel that we still need to do a lot of work to really connect with them and start to build trust.

All in all, our visits so far have been just as fantastic as we had hoped and we are looking forward to next visits this holiday week!

-Minnie xo

[All names have (obviously) been changed to protect the privacy of our family.]

It was magical…..

It happened. We met them yesterday and it was totally magical…. more than I ever could have hoped for! When they first came in the room, we all shook hands…. I am sure they were nervous but I certainly was, too! We sat down and talked a little bit and then the kids gave us a tour of their current home. We sat down to dinner and things flowed so well. I was fearful that we wouldnt know what to say to eachother but we always had plenty to talk about.

Some things I learned about them:

  • They prefer onion rings to french fries
  • Donald’s favorite food is calamari and Daffy’s favorite food is mini pizzas
  • Donald likes wood working and fishing and the Yankees
  • Daffy definitely likes all things girly and the Red Sox (she even has a pink hat!!)
  • Donald likes reading and science
  • Daffy is excited to apply for an advisory role at her current school

The cutest thing…. I took a picture of some desserts that they made and when Daffy looked at the picture, she commented “Oh look! It says our names on our plates so you won’t forget our names!”   As if I ever could, Daffy, as if I ever could.

Goodbyes were great…. the kids kept hugging us…. even Donald, which was totally unexpected! I think he hugged us more than Daffy did! We asked them if it would be okay if we came back this weekend and brought our other children and they seemed excited about it!

Can’t wait for the next visit in this exciting journey! 🙂

-Minnie xo

[All names have (obviously) been changed to protect the privacy of our family.]

T Minus 4 hours

T minus 4 hours and counting…. no phone call from the agency this morning so I have my fingers crossed the meeting will actually happen! I slept like crap last night…. maybe a couple of hours total. I have so many thoughts running through my head. What should I wear? Will I meet their expectations? Will they be shy? Will they like me? Will my smile be warm enough? Will they be excited to have siblings? What will their current home be like? What will they serve for dinner? And being a vegetarian, how can I get away with not eating it? Yeah, LOL, my brain is in overdrive mostly with inconsequential things but I can’t seem to turn it off. Is this normal? Who knows? I have a feeling my old “normal” will never be the same again after this afternoon!

-Minnie xo

[All names have (obviously) been changed to protect the privacy of our family.]

It’s NOT today! It’s NOT today!

😦

I am so disappointed. We got a call from the division that the meeting needs to be postponed until tomorrow. In the big picture, one day is NOT that long, but it feels like forever when you are watching the minutes tick by. We are assured it will be smooth sailing from here, but of course we take that with a grain of salt… how could fostering or adoption or parenthood in general ever be “smooth sailing”?

Hopefully we will have some good news to report tomorrow!

-Minnie xo

[All names have (obviously) been changed to protect the privacy of our family.]

It’s today! It’s today!

Finally, the long awaited day has arrived. We are a matter of hours away from meeting Donald & Daffy! It was so hard to fall asleep last night… I was filled with nervous energy when it occurred to me how the kids must be feeling. I am not the one getting new parents. I am not the one getting a new house in a new town. I am not the one getting new siblings. I am not the one getting new pets. I am not the one whole will go to a new school and have to make new friends. I am not the one who will get a new dentist and a new doctor. I am not the one whose world will be tossed upside down and I am not the one who has a traumatic past that hasn’t given me many tools to deal with it. This really help put things in perspective for me about why we are taking things slowly in this transition.

-Minnie xo

[All names have (obviously) been changed to protect the privacy of our family.]

Day 1

The real day one, for me, likely began on the day I was born and given up for adoption. Adoption is something Mickey & I have talked about for years as well. We finally began the process in May 2011 and became licensed in September. At some point, I will go back and cover the details of the licensing process, but for now I want to begin with today and move forward so I dont miss a thing.

Tomorrow we will meet the 2 children that will become a part of our family. Donald & Daffy will become our children and the siblings to Tinkerbell, Goofy and Pluto. They are already a part of our hearts. We have begun preparations to welcome them in to our home.

The concept of “meeting” our children for the first time is extremely intimidating. I am certain that they have an image in their minds about what their future parents will look like. I don’t know if they have considered siblings or pet in their imaginary families. We have read their full adoptive histories, but that doesn’t help me to know what to expect their reaction to be tomorrow when our eyes meet for the first time. We have meet with countless social workers, but that is no guarantee that they will even LIKE us, let alone learn to love us in time.

I am nervous and I am excited. I have been counting the days and now I can count in hours. I know this is the eve of something most magical!

-Minnie xo

[All names have (obviously) been changed to protect the privacy of our family.]