Time is going by too quickly…. I really WANT to blog every day so I dont forget all the details that make this such a special journey but somehow the days escape me. Our already busy lives now include multiple hours of commuting several times per week to visit with the kids. It’s all worth it, though, even if I do forget a few details.
The first home visit was an absolute success! The kids seemed to feel comfortable with their space and didn’t seem shy with any of our pets. We still need to go over house rules a little more thoroughly. Honestly, this is a challenge… its been a long time since we discussed rules with the bio kids. They just “know” because things are how they have always been. It’s okay, though, we have all the time in the world!
Sunday we had another visit with the kids and attended a holiday party. There was a photo booth which made for some totally awesome pictures! Tinkerbell has photo booth pics all over the mirror in her room so it was perfect that her and Daffy could get photo booth pictures together! Donald & Daffy also ran into some friends from a previous placement which was really nice for them.
Sunday really felt “normal.” I dont know if it is because we were in public, or just feeling more comfortable with each other in general, but things went really smoothly.
Today we attended a training and then had another visit with the kids. At one point during dinner, Donald leaned over and whispered “Everyone thinks you are the right family for us“…. I could have cried…. but I held it together and asked “What do YOU think?” He nodded and replied “I do, too.” I told him I also feel the same way and assured him we are NOT going to leave him. I told him I know he will make mistakes- and so will we- but thats okay. No one is perfect! I know its just a drop in the bucket of the hundreds of times he will need to be told, but its a start to building the trust he so desperately
needs deserves! Later in the night, I mentioned to Daffy what Donald had said and asked her how she felt. She agreed we are the ones. My hearts swells every time I think about it. 🙂
A couple other highlights of the day/night:
- Daffy introduced us as her “New Mom” and “New Dad”! I know that must have taken courage to speak those words out loud… especially in front of us… risking rejection and disappointment. I am so proud of her and the chances she is taking.
- We had a chance to speak with the kid’s Godparents. Their Godmother mentioned how differently this is going than their previous placements. Hearing that gave me such a warm feeling…. a feeling that all is right in the world… our world AND theirs. They have made such tremendous progress over the past couple of years. I can’t say enough how proud I am of the work they have done (& are doing) to overcome their trauma. While they certainly deserve all the credit, there are some very special people that work with them daily that have facilitated these incredible changes and for that, I will be forever grateful.
- On the way to return them, I asked how the meeting went Monday with one of the social workers. Daffy was quick to say it was great and described how the social worker had given them a time line of what would happen. She glowed when she reported that the next step was moving in…. and then the last step is going to “see the judge”! She commented about how it feels like they really know us well. I do take everything with a grain of salt right now because she has Reactive Attachment Disorder, but there is a little part of me that hopes that we are the family that can finally break through the walls she has built to protect herself.
I am excited to be having an extended visit tomorrow. Donald has a doctor’s appointment for a med check that I have been asked to attend. I am going to get to keep him for the whole day and then visit with Daffy as well once she is out of school. Goofy has an early release day so it will be just the 4 of us. I am happy he will get this extra time with the kids because he is convinced that Daffy hates him! She doesn’t, of course… we are advised that its because Goofy’s size is that of a man and intimidating. I know they will share a close bond in time…. Goofy is an awesome teenager and GREAT with kids!
So, that, in a nutshell, is where we are at!
[All names have (obviously) been changed to protect the privacy of our family.]