Weekend Visits

This weekend marked our first full weekend of  full day visits at home. Overall, they were successful. Initially when we got the December schedule, it seemed like things were moving quickly, but as we get to know them more & more, it seems like they are dragging. It would have been so much easier if we had been able to keep them for the night last night, but alas, that was not the plan.

Yesterday we did Breakfast with Santa…. which was more like Breakfast, since the kids didn’t want to actually see Santa.  lol We took the kids out to see the playground at their new school and they ended up meeting their future music teacher.

We came home and had a friend over. The kids played together all day and we made decorated cookies.

Today we planned to get the Christmas decorations up in the house. The trees (2) did get decorated (with only one broken ornament), but the rest of the decorations are still boxed. Its extremely difficult to keep this kids away from technology… they are very eager to enmesh themselves into our culture of video games, tv and the computer.

There was one event of note today. Donald grabbed Daffy’s leg. She kicked back to get him to release and kicked him in the eye with her heal. He freaked out. Totally freaked. He has been very “accident prone” and complains at the slightest of injuries. While I am sure it hurt like a son of a gun, he really took things to an extreme. Mickey separated them and we gave them some time to cool down. I went and talked to each of them separately. I talked to Daffy first. She was crying quietly and was afraid that Donald would lie about what happened. I assured her I was fair and listening to both sides of the story. I also reassured her that we were all going to be fine and we would get through this and no one was “in trouble” or going to be “punished”. She told her side and seemed relieved to get it out. I asked if she wanted a hug and she said no, so I asked if I could HAVE a hug and she obliged. 🙂 Next I found Donald and asked him to tell me the whole truth. I got the SAME story as Daffy had told. Imagine that! What a rare thing for this former mom of 5 (now 7)…. I got the TRUTH from both kids! VERY impressive! Ironically, Donald decided to apologize to Daffy. He went in to do it on his own. He has been taught well to take care of issues directly. Daffy apologized as well and even gave Donald the last donut hole. Things were uneventful thereafter. As much as the initial situation was scary and probably not the worst thing we will see, it was great to see that in less than a half hour, I could have total control of the situation and get it resolved. They really are great kids with so many great skills learned in foster care.

During our talks, I also told them I love them. I even said to Donald, I bet that feels uncomfortable to hear because its new and different. I reassured him that my love wasnt going to change. He did seem nervous, but very happy to hear it.

Snuggling them on the couch while we watched a movie was probably the very best part of the day for me. They dont always want to let on how they are feeling and risk rejection, but body language tells it all for me. They WANT to be close.

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