It’s hard to believe we are entering the last full week without the kids here. Its nerve-wracking and exciting at the same time! If this weekend is any indication of things to come, I am definitely scared.
My tweet from Saturday morning:
What a disaster of a morning! Donald & Daffy are almost always in conflict. They argue over everything and generally try to get under eachother’s skin at every opportunity, even creating situations if there is nothing to actually fight about. When I think about their past history, I wonder if the judge who determined they should be placed together made the right choice. Anyway, Saturday morning they were arguing about which show to watch on tv. Daffy came upstairs to watch the tv in my room to void the conflict. Smart choice, in retrospect and one I wont dismiss in the future. Feeling like superMom, I decided to go discuss the conflict with Donald and try to offer some solutions for future conflicts of a similar nature. One thing led to another and I ultimately ended up putting him in a hold. I felt sick as soon as it happened but I was also fearing my own safety. Thankfully it didnt last long and we were able to talk through the issues and move on with the day. He was, of course, on edge all day. And honestly, so was I. He was like a ticking time bomb waiting to explode again. I did talk to the group home about the situation and they offered solutions to try next time. Thinking about the certainty of “next time” and the “time after that” and the “time after that” is what scares me most. The experience was incredibly draining and definitely felt “more than I bargained for” even though I had been told to expect this behavior.
On a side note, and for my own reference later, one of the workers happened to mention in conversation regarding this blow out, about the trauma (physical, emotional and sexual) they have experienced. Ummmmmm, what????? Sexual trauma????? This phone call was the FIRST I heard anything about that! I am a little biut distressed about that. I am hoping to learn more this week when we meet with their counselor. Its not a “game changer” for me, but it certainly would have been helpful to know.
This morning started at 4:11am when Donald asked where we keep the tape. I am sure I was not at my best when I said “What? The tape? You are NOT having tape. Go to bed.” I am finding it extremely exhausting that even though we discuss it at length every night,
they he can not seem to understand that he needs to STAY in his room and not disturb others. This is NOT something he does in his current placement, so its not like this is an ongoing issue. He NEEDS 11 hours of sleep per night and it seems no matter what time he goes to bed does not change his wake up time. That would explain why its currently just after 6pm and he is on bed. At least he doesnt get up once we put him in bed at night.
Anyway, we have a morning meeting and then will be talking them to school. I am sure this will be the fastest week of my life! 9 days till forever!