Having a 4th grade daughter, brings me back to my own 4th grade year. Overall, I do not have fond memories of my youth. Sure, I do have some good memories and those are usually the ones I choose to focus on, but if you ask me to think back to a specific year in my life, my first recalled memories are usually negative.
Things I recall from the 4th grade:
- Two of my friends and I liked the same boy whose name was “Joey”. My friends had a sleepover together one night and wrote Joey notes telling him my boobs were small and that he should not like me. I was crushed that my so-called friends who do that to me. (Side note: My breasts ended up being so large that later in life I had major breast reduction surgery!)
- Later in the year I like a boy name Kevin. I decided to tell him on his Valentine card. Once I had written and sealed the tiny card, I changed my mind about confessing my undying love so I scribbled on the envelope hoping it also scribbled out the words on the card. It didnt and it was terribly embarrassing.
- I did NOT like studying our state history. I refused to do a packet of work. I did not care what the result, I simply refused. The teacher gave me a detention- my very first ever! I was mortified and terrified of what would happen when my
parentsmother & stepfather found out. I stayed after school and the teacher worked by my side. She would read the question and then read the passage that contained the answer and I would guess wrong answers just to spite her. She stayed patient with me and eventually we got through enough of the packet that I earned a C (probably only my 2nd in my entire 4 year elementary school career). She ended up having to drive me home and spoke casually along the way as if nothing happened. I couldn’t understand how she was able to separate her feelings like that.
- Living in a group home with people that stole her things
- Meeting yet another “Forever Family” that she was sure would break her heart
- Transitioning to a new school over an hour’s drive away from everything she knew
- Being assaulted by her biological brother numerous times including being strangled by him
- Her brother going to a psychiatric facility
- Her brother going back to residential care
- Her brother getting expelled from school and moving to another residential treatment center
- Meeting the family that will truly be her Forever Family
- Meeting her new pets and falling in love
- Making a new best friend
- Starting with her new therapist and beginning the hard work to deal with her losses
- Chats with me every night
- Mickey & I advocating for contact with her former foster families and her biological mother
- The many “firsts” she will experience in our family (Christmas, Valentines Day, St Patricks Day, Easter, Mothers Day…)