I love our team, I really do. Everyone except for the Clinician/Case Manager at Donald’s Residential Treatment Center. Every time I receive an email from her, I am hopeful for a glimpse of reality, and every time I read said email, I find that my skin crawls and I bristle at how little she understands this situation.
How can someone working at a Residential Treatment Center not understand Reactive Attachment Disorder? I simply don’t understand. Donald is not that crafty. He is not that manipulative. And yet, somehow, she believes that he is bonded and attached to us. After living with us for 13 days! Daffy’s therapist talks about how she is “attaching nicely” but would NEVER go so far as to say she is attached and she has been IN OUR HOME for more than 4 months! How can this woman believe that a child who couldn’t care less whether we live or die is actually “attached”???
She takes every opportunity to mention this to us, as if hearing it enough will make us believe it. We don’t. Nor so the social workers on our case. She is totally blind to Donald’s needs.
Below is an email, in part, that I sent to our caseworker regarding this clinician:
I just wanted to address some of CLINICIAN’s comments directly with you. I am confused by her comment about the TF-CBT work. At the last team meeting CLINICIAN stated that she did not know who at RTC did such work but said she would research that. She is now stating that she will be doing that work. Furthermore, she indicates that she does not know if he will get that work while at RTC. I was under the impression that is EXACTLY the work that needed to be done before DONALD would be ready to live safely in a family.
I am also shocked to read that DONALD said he is “not the same” as when he lived with the former pre-adoptive family. After speaking with JESSIE, I felt like I was in a time warp and that he is EXACTLY the same as when he was with them, that he has literally made zero progress in 3 years. She indicates that DAFFY “used to” be afraid of him. I feel it needs to be clarified that she is CURRENTLY afraid of him. This has been indicated by DONALD’s own conversations with XXX during his most recent stay at GRPOUP HOME, by DAFFY’s therapist, and by DAFFY herself in the things she has written to the team and things she has indicated to our family.
While I am happy to hear CLINICIAN’s reports of DONALD remaining on level, I do not feel that his ability to function at RTC in ANY way indicates an ability to function within a family setting because of his Reactive Attachment Disorder and the trauma bond with his sister. I feel emails like the one below indicate a push to move him back into our family rather than take the time that DONALD needs to truly deal with his trauma and manage his mental illness. CLINICIAN’s statements give me the impression that RTC does not truly understand the dangerous situation we were in with DONALD in our home, that they are not aware of DONALD’s extensive history and that they do not understand the serious work that needs to be done with with him.
Clearly, our next treatment team meeting will be quite interesting.