We FINALLY connected with Donald last night after 3 night’s of unreturned phone calls. When I asked him why he hadn’t been returning the calls, he stated “I have been very busy playing bay blades!” [begin sarcasm] Clearly, he is attached, right? [end sarcasm] Ugh. Anyway, I asked him if he wanted to talk to Daffy and he said “Sure”… we always chat with him on speaker phone. Daffy loves not holding the phone to her ear and I love knowing first hand what is said between them. She asked Donald about not calling back and again he said he was “too busy.” She asked if he received her letter and he said he had. She asked if he would write back and he said yes (although that is very unlikely). Then Donald told Daffy that he learned that the former foster parent, Jessie, would be coming to visit. He said “First she will visit me then she will visit you”… Daffy paused and then let him know that she had already seen Jessie. Donald was extremely unhappy and growled and muttered. Sensing his anger, Daffy immediately determined she needed to correct the situation so she told him “She said she misses you very much!” Ummmm, no she didn’t. I gave her a crazy look and she smirked knowing full well that she was simply trying to keep her brother from exploding. Sad.
Anyway, this morning I was relaying the conversation to Goofy and Daffy jumped in and said “If he doesn’t start calling back, I am not talking to him anymore! I am tired of this!” She commented about how he had asked us to leave early last weekend, didn’t return phone calls this week and never writes her back. I encouraged her to write a letter to the team (for the next meeting) expressing her feelings about this.
Should I be forcing her to write/call/visit if she doesn’t want to? The team previously said no, but it feels wrong to me. Whether he comes back here in the end or not, she needs to have some kind of relationship with him and that isn’t going to happen if it’s left up to the kids to determine. They are CHILDREN for goodness sake, they need to be prodded and encouraged sometimes.
Hopefully our agency will recommend that evaluation to determine their bond soon. There is supposedly some specialist in the state and I would love to see where he thinks they stand. How can we make a plan to go forward if we dont know where we are?