Our social worker let us know on July 3rd that our case worker was to be meeting with the higher ups to discuss the results of the consult and to request that we be able to move forward with Daffy’s adoption. We sat on pins and needles until finally an email came in the early evening from our social worker letting us know the conversation had not happened. It was extremely disappointing but not unexpected. (We have learned many times over that the road to adoption is FILLED with long waits and unanswered questions.)
With the 4th being a holiday, our soonest hope to hear anything was July 5th. Shortly after noon on that Thursday, I received the email we have been waiting for since the moment we decided to begin this journey. Our case worker wrote:
I just got off the phone with XXXX, who is in full support of moving forward with permanency for Daffy.
I was on the phone at the time I received the email with only Daffy’s initials in the subject line. My body instantly went numb. I would have expected I would have cried, but instead I sat in shocked silence. I continued the conversation for a few more minutes, hung up and went to the bathroom to cry. Alone. The first person I told was Tink (because she was in my room), then Mickey and finally the boys. Each of them wanted to be the one to tell Daffy, but I insisted we wait until the next morning. The caseworker and social worker already had a visit scheduled and they were able to coordinate with the family support specialist to attend as well.
I immediately tweeted our news and texted all of my close friends. It was very difficult to look at Daffy throughout the day without giving away my excitement. My heart felt like it might burst open. The next morning, we all sat down together at the kitchen table and shared with Daffy that the adoption was moving forward. She smiled but had little reaction. To her, this was not news. From the moment the original caseworker told her in November that she was meeting with a new family, she knew that it was for adoption. While at the group home, she dreamt that God told her we were finally the “right” family for her and that satisfied most of her worries. When the kids moved in and Donald’s behaviors began to escalate and become more dangerous, she indicated that she was worried they were going down the same path [to disruption] and that she would have to move, but once he was hospitalized and then moved to residential care (twice)- and she stayed- she really settled in and began to believe this would be her forever home.
We have been talking about the future since before she moved in (heck, before we even MET her!) and about adoption since shortly thereafter. She hasn’t known about a lot of the obstacles that we’ve faced along the way, so the news we shared felt as common to her as us saying we have another team meeting scheduled.
Once she left the room, we talked a little bit about the process. The caseworker asked our social worker to send over our background checks and home study. The ball was officially rolling!
At this point, all we know is that the target date is sometime between mid-October and mid-December. The fact that our agency is closing is turning out to be a blessing in disguise as the state is motivated to wrap up certain cases so there wont be a need to transfer them.
We still face many challenges in our journey- telling Donald that his sister is being adopted, a face to face meeting between Daffy & her birth Mom, intensive therapeutic work for Donald and many difficult decisions about his future, but for now, I am relishing the thought of Daffy being ours forever!
I can hardly wait till Adoption Day!