I am being a bad blogger and would encourage you to follow me on Twitter @FosterAdoption if you want to keep up to date on the live happenings with our story. It’s so much easier to share in 160 character updates than to take the time to blog entire stories at a time, especially during times of stress. Anyway, today I tweeted about my email to the resource worker and promised to share it on the blog, so here it is:
I will definitely chat with you about everything, but maybe some time to cool down would be better than doing it soon? I am extremely frustrated for the girls AND for my family.
First of all, when I forwarded THERAPIST’s email to CASEWORKER, I very specifically asked that she contact me to DISCUSS it. She has not done so and clearly jumped to conclusions about how *I* felt about THERAPIST’s opinion and what should happen.
As for the transition, I understand that the former foster mom sabotaged that by not allowing us time, but now that I see that lack of communication and lack of respect for foster parents opinions in general, I can also understand why she reacted the way she did. That said, I was very clear BEFORE the girls moved in about wanting respite set up immediately. I believe that Daffy may not have had as strong of a reaction to the girls had the after school program been implemented (we were not able to start until 2 days ago) and respite been in place, allowing us to have the one on one time with her that she needed as well as a break from the girls who argue, tattle and manipulate incessantly. In addition, its been 3 weeks and neither of the girls have been able to begin therapy themselves, which also could have been beneficial for their own wellbeing.
Furthermore, I have yet to be asked MY opinion and that frustrates me beyond measure. I was under the impression that adopting Daffy meant that she was now legally my child and my responsibility, free of the state’s control, yet all decisions by the state seem to be as a result of their decisions for MY daughter’s best interest (not Daisy or April). While I certainly value their opinions and may even be persuaded to agree on many points, I resent that I have had no say in what happens pertaining to my family.
Bet that’s more than you were hoping for! 😉
Reading it now, I still feel good about what I had to say. I feel empowered at having been able to articulate what I am feeling about our situation as well as the general concern about the fact that foster parent’s have no voice in the system. This is definitely a battle that will wage on, but for today, I did my share.
More updates to come soon…