There was a time at the beginning of our journey to become foster parents that I dreamt of “getting the call”… I imagined how exciting it would be to get the first details of a child that would eventually become a part of our family.
That time is gone.
Recently, I got an email from our Wendy’s Wonderful Kids working asking for an update on the status of our license and whether we thought we might adopt again. I responded, in part, saying “In Dec, we told the resource worker we would like to do respite, but have not been called. We would likely consider adopting again in the future if the right match came up.” I had no idea that she was asking because she had a sibling group in mind to match us with. *sigh*
I have run the gamut of emotions since that initial email. I was flattered that she believed our family would be a good match because of our experience. I was excited at the idea of welcoming two new members to our family. I was scared at the possibility of failing them. I felt terrified of Daffy backsliding again. I was annoyed at Goofy and Pluto’s strong reaction against the potential of adopting again in the future. I felt guilty at the thought of turning away children who need a family. It was a vortex of feelings and emotions.
Time has really given me the clarity I needed and I am glad I did not rush to a decision. A placement is not right for our family at this time.
I honestly don’t know if we will be ready in a 6 months, a year or ever. Daffy’s legal adoption may have occurred in October, but this journey is FAR from over and we just can’t add to that right now.