Team Meeting Follow Up

The other day, I shared details about our recent treatment team meeting. Specifically, I shared that the service provider brought up her desire to do a TFCBT assessment on Daffy and was INSTANTLY shot down by Daffy’s current therapist. The therapist folded her arms and stated that Daffy shows “no signs of trauma.”

Yesterday, when the service provider came for our usual Tuesday afternoon meeting, she told me that Daffy’s therapist had contacted the state post-adoption worker and told her that SHE wants to be the one to do the TFCBT assessment on Daffy.

Nope. Not gonna happen.

I was STUNNED that she would go behind my back (and not even copy on the rest of the team) seeing as we had already made a decision at the treatment team meeting that the service provider would be moving forward with the assessment. Our family therapy yesterday was focused on communication styles and I was ITCHING to try out the “assertive” style in an email to the state post-adoption worker regarding this matter. This is what I sent:


SW1 and SW2 were over today and SW1 filled me in on THERAPIST’s request to do the assessment for TFCBT. I am much more comfortable with SW1 doing the assessment. First of all, THERAPIST made it clear at the team meeting that she did not feel Daffy needs TFCBT, so I feel that she would be going into the assessment with a bias. Second, Daffy has been seeing THERAPIST for two years. I feel like Daffy reached a plateau in her progress with THERAPIST at the year mark (or a little less). I would rather have someone new and unbiased work with her for the purpose of TFCBT. And finally, my research and experience with TFCBT indicates that it is more productive when utilizing a therapist just for that purpose and not an ongoing therapist. So that said, SW1 is planning to bring the assessment over next week.

If you have any questions, please let me know.

So there you have it, my assertive letter. I didn’t ask for her opinion or allow any room for debate as this is NOT up for negotiation. I then went on to send the following email to the therapist directly (and of course copying on the rest of the team). Hopefully my message to her is very clear.


Would it be possible for you to provide a copy of  Daffy’s treatment plan  (past, present or all of the above) prior to the next team meeting? I realized today I’ve never seen one and I’d like to make sure that the work SW1 and SW2 are doing doesn’t overlap with what you are doing. I’m also curious to know which objectives Daffy has met in the past two years.

I’ve asked SW1 to do the TFCBT assessment with Daffy. That will likely be happening next week.

It’s been 24 hours and, of course, I haven’t heard a single word back. If I had to guess, Daffy’s therapist is probably working on those treatment plans that she hasn’t done in more than 2 years.

Her days of working with Daffy are definitely numbered and I said that in no uncertain terms to the workers yesterday. The social worker that works most closely with Daffy said that Daffy has expressed to her that the therapist doesn’t listen to Daffy and that Daffy does not feel therapy with her is productive. What more evidence do I need? It’s been more than 2 years now and rather than moving forward, we’re worse off than when we started. She has been dismissive about any signs of trouble (specifically the drawing of the person with a gun), does not hold Daffy accountable for anything and refused to do any work with with our family for fear of putting a “divide” in her relationship with Daffy. SERIOUSLY??? What is she even DOING if not focusing on school, family or trauma? What the hell else IS there????


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  1. I like the assertive letter. Mama knows her baby best, and if we don’t look out for our kids, who will?

  2. Jaynee Way

     /  April 17, 2014

    Some of you may enjoy my recent book disuxxing the nuances of successfully moving kids frome one caregiver to another with minimal trau,a. Available on Amazon

    Transitions: A Gentle Approach: How a “Team Approach” to Transitions can Create Success and Stability for our most vulnerable [Paperback]
    by Mrs Jaynee Wiebe Way

    Price: $11.69 & FREE Shipping on orders over $35. Detail
    Publication Date: January 23, 2014

    A growing number of children are experiencing the multiple moves that are an inherent part of the Foster Care System. Early Permanence for children is vital for healthy bonding and attachment to their forever families. In our time, open adoptions are the norm and we see a growing number of older child adoptions with children who have spent at least some time in the Foster Care System. These children from hard places have experienced challenges in their early lives. They deserve and require a gentle approach when being transitions to their forever families. Foster Care is by its very nature, a temporary solution to a long-term challenge. Children who suffer repeated disruptions of caregivers are at risk for developmental delays, poor self-regulation and behavioral and mental health problems. The earlier in a child’s life that we are able to accomplish permanence the better for the child’s attachment capacity and long-term outcomes When an at-risk child is moved to her permanent home, we are disrupting her primary caregiver once again. It is incumbent upon us to undertake this process with care and sensitivity. Our primary goals are to Preserve the Child’s Attachment Capacity and to Support their Prior Connections. A traumatic transition can lead to long-term effects on the child and indeed the entire Adoptive family. Transition is the slow and measured relinquishment of the nurture, care and discipline of a child by her current caregivers and the assumption of these same duties by her new Adoptive Parents. When embarked on in a thoughtful, tender manner, transition can be a gentle process that enlarges both the child’s sense of self and the circle of those who love and care for them. “In this book, foster and adoptive families will find many practical suggestions and tips that I believe will serve as anchors as they embark on the less than calm seas of transitioning children. Those who read will also find an unwavering commitment to remaining child-focused while having empathy for all involved in the complex dance that is transition.”

    I am available to support those going through difficult transitions or soon embarking on one.

  1. More Changes | Foster Adoption Blog

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