I found out “Whats next”….

I might as well have asked “Whats next?” because I found out anyway. I got a call from the group home at 3:30pm yesterday. The long story short, Donald attacked 2 staff members at his school, then ran away from the school. The group home was called, then the police. The police didnt end up getting involved because Donald agreed to leave with the group home staff. However, Donald can not return to school until further notice. The group home staff mentioned that it will take 3 weeks or so to get a tutor set up and the caseworker (who later called) mentioned potentially moving him to school for those with mental illness and behavioral issues.

I have to say, I felt a little euphoric when I got the call. FINALLY, they are seeing what we saw when he lived here. One of the 2 staff members attacked visited Donald in the hospital and frowned at the fact we couldnt manage his behaviors, looked down on us for giving up. I feel so validated that she now “gets it” and they have learned that even in a school setting where they have an abudance of staff and deal with him only a small portion of the day, he can not be kept safe nor can those around him.

We already had a school meeting set for Monday so we will attend that and help determine what happens next for Donald. I want for him to be mentally well but this is one more reminder that we did make the right choice in not letting him return. He is simply NOT safe.

I received the list of homoepathic supplements Donald is now taking. The total cost per month is in excess of $200!! I still need to do some research on their effectiveness and risks/side effects, but I can say with certainty that transitioning him here while still on these unapproved and unorthodox supplements for mental illness can not happen. As I mentioned before, we do not have benefactors to cover that monthly expense. And I havent failed to notice that they dont seem to be effective, either.

Mickey and I attended a foster parent support group last night on Loss & Grief. Its interesting to think that just a few months ago we were the “newbies”…  but I couldnt get over some of the questions foster parents were asking… “How are foster children different from biological children?” … “Why do children need to be aware of their history?”… I was dumbfounded that these foster parents are considered “prepared” to have foster children in their homes! Maybe their children arent as complex as Donald & Daffy? I just dont know.

Anyway, we left Daffy at home with Pluto and Goofy during the meeting and I am thrilled to report that they had a GREAT night! NO issues! I made a point to lather her with praise! 🙂

-Minnie xo

[All names have (obviously) been changed to protect the privacy of our family.]

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The Getaway!

Mickey and I celebrated 16 years of wedding bliss this week! As is customary in our marriage, we went away to celebrate… and took the kids! Its hard to imagine a life that doesnt include them so we have always taken them with us! We chose an indoor water park for the night. Honestly, its probably the best day we have had as a foster family. Having something specific and active to do was GREAT for Daffy’s (suspected) ADHD. More importantly, the boys having some “good” moments with Daffy- creating some positive history- was the best part of the trip!

We have had a good run for the past few days with Daffy so I fully expect a meltdown of some sort soon. LOL I am knocking on wood, of course, but let’s not be foolish, its inevitable! And I am okay with that… I know this is a marathon, not a sprint and I am in it for the long haul!

We had a meeting with our social worker today and one of her objectives was to get information from Daffy that will be shared at the treatment team meeting this week. Daffy set 4 goals:

  1. Adoption by the end of the year (because she thinks “kids usually get adopted at the end of the year”)
  2. Getting a pet of her own (she added a note that she needs to persuade her parents, lol)
  3. Attending treatment team meetings in the future in some capacity (not really her own goal, more encouraged by the sw, she seemed quite content to let everyone makes decisions for her)
  4. Share a room with Donald

So, yeah, #4 threw me for a loop, too…. upon further questions from the sw, Daffy shared that she is afraid to sleep alone and wants ANYONE to sleep in her room. It has nothing to do with her brother. She mentioned again that she wants a “Pillow Pet with a light” that I have since learned is a Dream Lite! They are a little on the spendy side (especially when you add shipping), but if it will alleviate her fears of sleeping in her room alone, then I may have to break down and buy one. If anyone finds a better price somewhere, please let me know! 🙂

In Donald updates, we have been speaking to him daily. Last night, I asked about the meds and he said he had only one day left. I asked how the new homeopathic stuff was going and he mentioned that they “sprayed” something under his tongue so he would stop crying yesterday. Huh? I am hoping there is a logical explanation for this. He didnt seem upset about it, simply matter-of-fact, but to a “homeopathic lamen” like myself, this sounds a bit unorthodox. I have emailed the group home (copying his cw, of course) and hope to hear back with more details so I can investigate this myself. Is anyone out there is cyberland familiar with such a product? Please give me a comment!