Snowflakes for Sandy Hook

snowflakes for sandy hookThe tragedy in Sandy Hook has left us reeling here in the northeast. I have started several blog posts about the events of that day, but have been unable to finish them as the right words never seem to come to express my incredible sorrow for those affected in Newtown.

Last week, I stumbled on a call for Snowflakes from the Connecticut PTSA:

Please help the students of Sandy Hook have a winter wonderland at their new school! Get Creative!!  Make and send snowflakes to Connecticut PTSA, 60 Connolly Parkway, Building 12, Suite 103, Hamden, CT  06514, by January 12, 2013.

This is a very tangible way for kids to be able to feel like they are helping their peers at Sandy Hook while taking some time to process the events of 12/14/12 and empathize with the children and families who lost so much. Our family decided to make 26 snowflakes, one for each victim at the school. Our family would like to challenge you to contribute Snowflakes for Sandy Hook as well!

I would also encourage you to talk to your children about the events of Sandy Hook. Sadly, the world we live in includes violence and evil. How we acknowledge that evil and what we do to make the world better is what will count in the end. Use this opportunity to have frank discussions with your children. I am certainly no expert on children dealing with grief, but as a parent, foster parent and adoptive parent, I have certainly had my share of dealing with grief with my children.  I would recommend reading any of these articles for more specific pointers:

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I found out “Whats next”….

I might as well have asked “Whats next?” because I found out anyway. I got a call from the group home at 3:30pm yesterday. The long story short, Donald attacked 2 staff members at his school, then ran away from the school. The group home was called, then the police. The police didnt end up getting involved because Donald agreed to leave with the group home staff. However, Donald can not return to school until further notice. The group home staff mentioned that it will take 3 weeks or so to get a tutor set up and the caseworker (who later called) mentioned potentially moving him to school for those with mental illness and behavioral issues.

I have to say, I felt a little euphoric when I got the call. FINALLY, they are seeing what we saw when he lived here. One of the 2 staff members attacked visited Donald in the hospital and frowned at the fact we couldnt manage his behaviors, looked down on us for giving up. I feel so validated that she now “gets it” and they have learned that even in a school setting where they have an abudance of staff and deal with him only a small portion of the day, he can not be kept safe nor can those around him.

We already had a school meeting set for Monday so we will attend that and help determine what happens next for Donald. I want for him to be mentally well but this is one more reminder that we did make the right choice in not letting him return. He is simply NOT safe.

I received the list of homoepathic supplements Donald is now taking. The total cost per month is in excess of $200!! I still need to do some research on their effectiveness and risks/side effects, but I can say with certainty that transitioning him here while still on these unapproved and unorthodox supplements for mental illness can not happen. As I mentioned before, we do not have benefactors to cover that monthly expense. And I havent failed to notice that they dont seem to be effective, either.

Mickey and I attended a foster parent support group last night on Loss & Grief. Its interesting to think that just a few months ago we were the “newbies”…  but I couldnt get over some of the questions foster parents were asking… “How are foster children different from biological children?” … “Why do children need to be aware of their history?”… I was dumbfounded that these foster parents are considered “prepared” to have foster children in their homes! Maybe their children arent as complex as Donald & Daffy? I just dont know.

Anyway, we left Daffy at home with Pluto and Goofy during the meeting and I am thrilled to report that they had a GREAT night! NO issues! I made a point to lather her with praise! 🙂

-Minnie xo

[All names have (obviously) been changed to protect the privacy of our family.]