The PERFECT Parent

You don’t have to be perfect, to be a perfect parent. There are thousands of kids in foster care that will take you just as you are. For more information on how you can adopt, visit http://adoptuskids.org/

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Fulfilling My Childhood Dream

But I’m warning you! Once you’re grown up, you can’t come back.

–Peter Pan

I saw this Peter Pan quote last night and all I could think after reading is was “Thank God for that!” I wouldn’t go back for anything in the world! I have many painful memories of childhood (a story for another post). From the time I was little, I wanted to be an adult. I couldn’t wait to grow up and be a mom. Beginning at age 7, I use to fantasize that I was the first (& youngest!) child to get pregnant sitting on toilet seat. I didn’t even understand the birds and the bees at that time, I had just heard that you couldn’t get pregnant sitting on a toilet seat! I played with baby dolls, pretending they were my own well past normal ages. As I grew older, people said the teen years would be happiest of my life. They told me to cherish those times. I prayed to God they were wrong, because my teen years were filled with misery, insecurities, loss and pain.

The summer before my senior year of high school, I began dating someone much older. I couldn’t wait to be an adult! On my high school graduation day, at age 17, I moved in with the man I had been dating for about 10 months, without looking back and never to return home again. Within just a couple of months, I became pregnant with Snow White. This was my life’s calling. Although I knew it would be challenging to be a teen mom, I also knew that this is what I was meant to do… my purpose in life! I have never questioned that even for a moment.

I have not always been the perfect mom, but I have always loved my children with all my heart. I cry when they are in pain and I rejoice at their successes. The time I spend with them are the very best days of my life!

Adding Daffy to our family by way of adoption truly feels like the completion of a cycle and the perfect completion of our family. She couldn’t be more like us if she was born to us! I look at her growing and changing every day and I thank God for the opportunity to her Mom…. her “REAL” mom.. the one who dries her tears and applies band aids, the one who cleans up puke off her bedroom floor, the one who attends her school events and the one who works hard to help her overcome her past loss and trauma. In many ways, her history is different than ours, but she is still very much our daughter and I look forward- with hope- to sharing our lives with her and loving her forever and ever!

At age 38, I truly believe I am living the very best part of my life! Despite all the recent trials, I know I am doing what I was meant to do. I have never been more sure of anything! If I have any say at all, Daffy will be a part of our “happily ever after!”

Gratitude

In addition to our nightly chats, Daffy & I have recently begun writing back and forth in a journal. Sometimes we write during our chat time and read them out loud to each other. The other day, Daffy’s note included a PS thanking us for coming to her Wax Museum. Our conversation following went something like this:

Me: Daffy, why would you thank me for coming to your Wax Museum?

Daffy: Because I thought you would be too busy to come.

Me: What? No! We are never too busy for our kids! That’s what families do- they support each other!

Daffy: No one ever came for me before when I was at the group home.

Her words broke my heart! As grateful as I am to the group home that cared for her and provided safety for 2.5 years, they were not a family. They could not provide the love and support that a little girl needs, the kind of love that can only come from parents. I am grateful for the opportunity to provide that love to her and pray to God we are able to adopt her and show her that family truly is forever.